Emails to Grandma and Grandpa

Email from away 1
Jessica Timms
To: Frank Timms
Tue 7/28/2024 7:58 PM

Dear grandma and grandpa

 I have officially arrived at my destination. The past week has gone very quickly, maybe the multiple time zones I have been through may account for that. In some ways flying is a form of time travel , you press on hoping that the past doesn’t catch up with you. Having spent a bit of time on planes this week I have come to some new realizations about them.

There is a poetic irony that comes with sitting very close in very confined quarters with hundreds of people yet not hearing anyone talk. On my flight to Doha I was determined to chat with the people around me and break the pattern of blocking out the surrounding world and just mindlessly consuming content. I sat between two guys who both work building pipelines in WA, to ensure a peaceful flight I didn’t enlighten them on my political views about the matter, instead I approached the conversation without judgment. I don’t think either of them would have cared about the governments broken promises to decrease their emissions or transition to renewables, to them their work was simply that – a job.  A lot of what they said reaffirmed this idea that I had developed about Perth and WA in general – that it is a very confused place.  In many ways the largest state in Australia exists in a world of its own, partly because of its isolation but also because of its financial independence. My friend who I was staying with told me that WA is the richest state in Australia, it makes sense that they have entertained independent ideals in the past – because they actually could defect from the nation and the rest of us would probably suffer as a result. WA is deceptively progressive place with its excellent public transport,  labor government and policies that support renters rights, but all of this is prefaced by the fact that a lot of their public spending comes from mining, and my friends on the plane reaffirmed that this probably isn’t going to change anytime soon.

I realized on my flight to doha that being a airhostess is probably one of the worst jobs out there. When I was younger I romanticized the idea of being paid to travel, spending everynight in a different city, getting to wear a fashionable uniform to work. Now I am older I see behind the façade. In many ways an airhostess job is to provide a glamours distraction from the lack of knee space and tasteless food, they create an image of luxury while you are sitting in economy class unable to moved for fear of disturbing those around you. It is almost a form of performance arts , enhanced by their plastered on smile, thick coat of makeup and tight costume. While I’m sure some of them enjoy it by the end of the 12 hour flight you can tell that they are sick of it by their tired ‘goodbyes’ and ‘thank you for choosing qatar’  , the script so repeated it almost becomes a mumble.

But that’s enough about flying , the destination is inherently more important, and what a destination it is !!.  The ride from the airport to the city didn’t feel like I was on bus, rather a carriage pulled by horses that was taking me into a medieval village like the ones I would read about in fairytales. The first thing I noticed was the abundance of rock walls (I know grandma will appreciate the effort that goes into making these , so to see so many was very impressive). There is an undeniable cohesion about Edinburgh’s architecture that is unlike anything I have ever seen in Australia.   The buildings are incredibly impressive especially when you consider the period, they would have been built in. Stepping onto the cobblestoned street feels like you are taking a step back into history. And then you walk past a McDonalds or KFC and the illusion is lost but the feeling remains. I understand what you are saying about the ‘dullness’ of sorts (this is definitely enhanced by the perpetually overcast sky) but I think the somewhat blank canvas makes the pops of colour even more bright. If you look hard enough this time of yar there is color to be found everywhere, in the cracks of the street where wildflowers grow, on the painted doors of townhouses, in the graffiti that marks the walls.

Once I arrived, I slept for 12 hours and woke up excited to see more of the city. Whenever I come to  a new place I like go for a walk to familiarize myself with the areas. You can tell a lot about a place based on how the people there spend their mornings and so a morning walk was top of the priority list. What was going to be a little ½ stroll around the suburb turned into a four hour adventure as I kept finding things that I wanted to explore. It is a very walkable place with lots of parks, winding side streets and lots of things to look at. In many ways Edinburgh is an extremely distant place unlike anywhere I have ever been, but there are tiny reminders that it exists in the same world as Australia – seagulls for one, blackberries that line the river and libraries. It is comforting to find the familiar in the foreign.

Whenever I travel I see a bit of you in me , whether that’s the purchasing of a bus pass,  or my first visit to the information center and just my overall desire to check put all the museums and art galleries. My friend in Perth said that I travel like a grandma and I took it as a complement haha. Hope you guys have been keeping well and that grandpa’s health is on the rise. I have my induction for work tomorrow so am looking forward to meeting some new people. I have been promoted to work in the artists bar so will get to meet some local celebrities (even if I don’t know who they are). Will send you an update on how my first week of fringe goes !!

Lots of love

Jess xox

———————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Hello from adelaide

Frank Timms

To:​You​

Tue 7/30/2024 2:51 PM

Hi Jess,

How delightful to receive your first email from overseas. I notice that you used grandpas old email address . He recently changed it to franktimms77@gmail.com as he was not sure how much longer he could use the old address from his provider. So far emails from the picknowl email are still getting to his computer. I notice that your address uses upper case letters for Timms and Jess. Is your address Timms.Jess@ hotmail.com or timms.jess@ hotmail.com  It seems to matter using these computers

At long last Grandpa is back to good health although he still has a cough occasionally. We have been watching some of the Olympic events on our television but as there is a huge time difference I am often in bed watching the events on our bedroom TV. It is a pity that the opening ceremony was so long and wet but it did not dampen the enthusiasm of the participants. The Australian swimmers are doing well and I am amazed at how fast the hockey games are now that it is played on artificial turf. I do not usually watch the commercial stations but the broadcast is on channel 9 so there are many many commercials and bland commentary. I am not a great sports viewer at any time but I have to admire the skill and dedication that many participants have applied over many years to become so good at their chosen sport.The Olympic Games are only every 4 years so it takes a lot of dedication to continue the training if you want to compete in more than one Olympics as some of the competitors have. The gold winning Australian Kayak winner this is her 4th Olympic games and now she has a complete set of medals -bronze, silver and gold.

When we have had drizzly days Grandpa and I watch a magnificent series of documentaries called ” The History of the World”. It was made by the BBC and featured a historian called Andrew Marr .It took about 9 hours of viewing so we watched it in 3 hour blocks and I will return the DVD to the library tomorrow. It covered numerous topics like Survival, Age of Empire,Age of Plunder,Revolution, Age of Industry, Age of Extremes. I found it fascinating. Parts of old Edinburgh where you are now was built in the 1700’s when England was involved in the growing of sugar in the newly discovered East Indies and their colonies and to provide cheap labour they need slaves from Africa. The wealthy merchants in this trade were able to build some of those beautiful houses in the older parts of Edinburgh. If you get to the Netherlands you will see wonderful homes also built by wealthy merchants in Amsterdam. They traded spices from India and what is now Indonesia a few hundred years before the English became traders in commodities. This is what I loved about travel in the past Jess- It  brings the past into focus and stimulates me to read further about various topics. You also meet interesting people and see things that challenge your beliefs. I am so pleased that you have taken this opportunity to get away from Adelaide and use the time to experience life in other countries.

I have just taken over this task!

Its a fabulous winters day today outside. I have been reading a book by a bloke called Ted Egan who moved to the NT in the early 1950’s and became a country and western singer before working for the Dept of Aboriginal Affairs in Darwin and country communities around the NT. Its quite interesting – he is about 10 years older than me and knows many of the survey assistants from Garden Point Mission (Catholic) on Melville Island. He started the St Marys Football Club in Darwin and most of our survey assistants were players when they were in Darwin. There some factual recounts in his book which were correct in his notion but not according to my memories.

I am always telling myself to start paragraphs about subjects which have jogged my memory usually while watching TV. A lot of it is so long ago but its amazing what I actually remember and a bit concerning what I don’t!

Talked to your dad this morning – he was outside in the sunshine whilst your mum was riding horses with a friend on a farm nearby. Amos is completing a form for Centrelink a help pay for his board at Norman Tce.

Sounds like you are settling in to the Edinburgh environment. The castle is a forbidding looking place above the city with steep black cliffs and battlements.

I have sent your contacts to Pam and Mona. It would be nice if they invited you to stay with them in Malta. I think  they still have the house in London. They are nice people. We still miss Marion (my cousin) and her partner (Pam’s father) since they passed away in the pandemic.

Your comments on WA were interesting. Grandma and I spent about a year in Perth in 1969-70 while I completed my survey qualifications. The big difference to Darwin was the attitude to aboriginals. I had been used to no racism in Darwin (or very little) and it was very noticeable in WA. Some of the survey assistants who worked with me in Darwin always found it noticeable whenever they went on holidays to any of the other states. Because they worked for the Commonwealth Government they were allocated housing in Darwin and were entitled to airfares to other capital cities for them and their families.

What are your digs like? Any leaks or lack of heating?

Amos just dropped in. We needed to sign his Centrelink form for rent assistance.

Looking forward to getting your next email about your travels.

Love

Grandad and Grandma xxx

Couple of photos attached

Email from away 2
Jessica Timms
To: Frank Timms
Tue 8/23/2024 2:09 AM

Hi grandma and grandpa !! thank you for your Lovley email, apologise about the late reply – I’ve become caught up in the thrill of fringe (as I often do) but that has made it difficult to find time to sit and be still. You would be please to know that I am writing this email in the local library, using their free Wi-Fi and lack of distraction to concentrate on the task at hand. 

I didn’t get a chance to watch much of the Olympics , I saw a couple of events only when they were playing in the background of a pub. One of my managers at work is Swedish so I did watch the pole vaulting with her the other day , their candidate ended up breaking the world record !! It is such an obscure sport , people running at high speed and then projecting themselves over a pole with a pole that resembles the same one they are trying to miss. In some ways it defies the laws of gravity. Apparently it was invited in ww1 as a way for soldiers to get over trenches and now has become an Olympic sport. I also admire the dedication of the athletes but am similar in not being a good sports watcher. The athleticism of the Olympics is applaudable but some of its nationalistic tendencies still make me uncomfortable. Most of what I have heard about the Olympics this year are all its controversies and it makes me question whether we will ever be able to remove politics from sport.

The documentary series ‘the history of the world’ sounds very interesting. I have always enjoyed learning about human history, in some ways you feel like a detective trying to put the pieces together to create a picture of the world as we know it today. It is my intention when ravelling to try and understand the places I pass through, whether that’s through their music, history , art, people. I think it’s a much more genuine way of engaging with a culture and in some ways you give back to a place by spending time getting to know it. Many people these days don’t travel with intention and I find that form of human movement quite exploitative. I went to the museum of Edinburgh the other day and spent a couple of hours reading about how the city was created. It is a very interesting design largely due to the hills that it was built on. While these formations provided a form of natural defence they also restricted how far the city could expand, Edinburgh is now divided into two areas – new town and old town. Prior to the 17th century before England took control of Scotland old town was a bustling place full of merchants , travellers and wealthy people, as you mentioned in your email  Scotland was a very rich trade hub and that made its inhabitants quite well off. However in the 17th century England became the new centre and this caused many of the elites to move away. As a consequence the living standards of old town rapidly deteriorated , there was a lack of space so buildings were forced to expand upwards without access to proper services. People would throw their camber pots outside the window and laddies had to wear special shoes so they wouldn’t step in the muck. In response to this slumification they didn’t decide to improve the living standards of those in old instead they decided to make a new town , quite literally called new town to try and attract the elites back from London. New town was designed as place for the wealthy , it has gated parks and three story town houses with bay windows. Its streets are wide and open and its houses have proper sewerage.

It is very interesting walking around these two separated parts of Edinburgh and it has made me think a lot about how architecture both reaffirms and reflects class relations. This is epitomised by a steep staircase here called ‘Jacobs ladder’, the name relates to a passage in the bible where Jacob dreams of a ladder extending between heaven and earth. In the early days it was the only way workers and labourers from the old town could access new town , and I think it provides a visual metaphor for the hierarchical difference between the two places. The top is also much narrow then the bottom which meant that those coming from the ‘bottom’ (from earth) had to move out of the way of those descending from the top (heaven).

The digs are great , very homely which is nice when you are in a new country. The couple I’m staying with are very lovley and have been extremely welcoming. One of them use to be the councillor for Edinburgh so we have had many conversations about politics over the past weeks. He now works for a social enterprise that deals with homelessness and next Wednesday im volunteering at a community garden that he helps run for people who are struggling to buy food. We have had a few nice dinners together but sometimes I will go three days without seeing either of them because our schedules are so different – they are often waking up when I am coming home and coming home when I am waking up. Its quite a central spot but takes me around 40 minutes to walk to work, which I don’t really mine because I get to walk past this Lovley nature reserve called Arthurs seat that has old ruins and lochs in it.

There is an interesting paradox I have discovered while travelling. You leave your home country with the intention of encountering something totally different but find yourself constantly searching for the familiar. Its relatively easy to find in a country like Scotland , I see the familiar in the way people dress , in the seagulls that fly around the city  , even some of the slang. There is a common phrase that to travel is to find yourself , I think I disagree , you travel to reaffirm yourself. Travel is a form of self-enlightenment not necessarily self-discovery. Being in Scotland I’m reminded of all the things I love about home , walking around the city, going to the jazz bar meeting people at the pub. Its actually very fulfilling to know that I am a person who knows what I like and who I like. I went and volunteered at the local community croft garden the other day and got to send a few hours watering the veggies. I’ve missed the garden back at home and felt like I needed to get my hand in the dirt for a while. It was a gorgeous day and I met this girl who is just about to move to a permaculture farm so we had some good chats about how it all works (minus its culty inclinations)

Now the fringe !! the fringe is quite incredible here , the population of Edinburgh nearly doubles with all  the tourists, workers and performers who choose to call this place home for a month. Walking down the streets in the afternoon you are constantly dodging people and trying to fine space amongst the hordes. Similar to Adelaide the whole city comes alive , buskers take over the roads and people stand at every corner holding out flyers to fringe shows. My experience of working at fringe has been quite different from what I expected – I’m use to working in a big venue where I meet lots of people everyday. While the venue I work for is quite large I have been put in their artist bar which is more removed from the chaos.  It’s a gorgeous little spot with candles , low lighting, curtains ,booth seats and local made beer on tap. I only work with about 5 other people which at first I was quite upset about because I came to fringe wanted to meet lots of people and make connections. However I’ve actually grown to prefer it. I’ve become a lot closer with my colleagues then i would have ever before, we often stay after work and have a few beers because we don’t want the night to end. Me and my manager have became good mates who instantly bonded over music, he use to be a DJ in Edinburgh when he was younger so has told me about all the good music spots in the city. The customers are also very Lovley , a lot of them are artists from gilded balloon and I often decided whether or not I want to see their show based on our interactions over the bar. Gramme Norton actually came in the other day as well – I didn’t recognise him at first but it was the talk of the town for a while.

I’ve found that my philosophy of slow travel and being intentional while abroad has also translated to the friends I have made. I haven’t met that many people but the ones I have , I have put in the efoor to get to know. Ive found that it’s a much for fulfilling way of spending my time , rather then meeting 50 people and trying to spend time with all of them I know a handful that I see quite often. Last Monday night I met these two great guys at the jazz bar , we ended up dancing until 3 in the morning and then went and got burritos afterwards. We kind of instantly got along, I could just tell that they were my kind of people. Afterwards one of them gave me a lift back to my place on the back of his cycle even though it was 30 minutes out of his way. I’ve seen them almost everyday since and they have introduced me to their friendship group who are a beautiful collection of artist’s and creatives that instantly befriended me. The other night we had a dinner party at their flat (which is this gorgeous three bedroom apartment with views of the castle)  I made grandmas pear and walnut salad and they were very impressed. It incredible how close we have all become in the past two weeks and after fringe I’m going camping with them all for a few days. This is the value of putting more effort into your interactions – you have more meaningful experiences.

I talked to Amos the other day and he told me about the psychology assignment he has just written about me, interesting stuff !! I feel like he knows more about me then I know about myself at this point hahah from what he said it sound like he did a very comprehensive job and I am looking forward to reading it soon. I’m a bit sad that I am missing out on his graduation , it’s a very big time of your life to leave school, but I’m sure he knows I am supporting him from afar.  I try and call mum and dad once a week or so but the time zones are making it difficult to stay in contact with everyone.

Im in the process now of deciding my next steps after fringe finishes in a few days. Im thinking of heading to the countryside and trying to work at a little pub or motel. The city has been great but I wouldn’t mind getting away from people for a while. I went to north berwick the other day with one of my bike boys, which is a cute little seaside village about an hour from Edinburgh. We had a great time cathcinb the train , going for a swim , having some icecream , I actually felt like a proper tourist for once haha

Hope everything is well in Adelaide !! have been thinking of you guys lots lately. Let me know of anything interesting you have been reading lately , I’ve struggled to keep up with my book recently but looking forward to a long bus ride soon to hopefully start again.

See attached some photos including one of the bar i work,  of the view from my friends flat, of the view from my walk to work , a bunch of flowers i picked for my friends.

Lots of love

Jess x

Email from away 2
Frank Timms
To: Jessica Timms
Wed 8/28/2024 2:43 PM

Hi Jess

What a nice surprise. We guess you have by now found a new place to work away from the city or are you looking at the sights of Edinburgh. Glasgow is not too far away by train so that might be an option for a few days. Looks like your digs in Edinburgh have turned out OK . We have seen the small garden patches near units all over Europe. The one you participated in (see the photo you sent) looks like a place you could exhibit your skills!

I watched a double documentary on the arrival of the Black Death Epidemic in England last night – it went for 2 hours and it made me think things have not changed for parts of our population who vehemently believe in conspiracy theories to cure the last pandemic COVID. The Black Death started in about 1350 and some of the cures tried  were not much different to 2020! It decimated approximately half the population in 1350.

We watched some of the Olympic events – they did not seem to dwell on any misfortunes. The constant ads which accompanied it were a pain but that’s where they retrieve part of the $300m channel 9 paid for 3 Olympics. It was nice to see our team do so well .

Its sometimes more convenient to have the opportunity to make a choice from a smaller number of potential friends, in your case 7. When we used to go to a large function we never seemed to get to know anyone especially if we were new to an area. People seem to congregate with people they know where they do not have to tell their life story which can take a long time and even then the potential friends might be a bit suspicious of ones motives. So it looks like you have hit a bit of a jackpot at the Edinburgh Fringe. 

Did you get an email from Pam in Malta? She usually answers fairly quickly and she said to us that she had sent an email to you? Her email address is . I saw a documentary series on Malta and it has a very long history and magnificent scenery. I f you can get there do so especially if you have a contact. Clare says its the best place she has visited for a long time.

Its now Tuesday, the day after I started this letter. Just read the Business Section of the Weekend Australian. The market seems to be going OK albeit with some ups and downs. Just put on some Bach so there is no reason why I should not write. Grandma has gone into town on the Coramandel train with Wanda to see a play and have lunch. Its a very windy day here with the forecast of rain to come later this week.

Since our last letter I have had a couple of health episodes July 19-23 with Influenza Type A and then again August 14-19 in Calvary Hospital suffering from Pleurisy, an infection of the lungs similar to pneumonia but very painful in the chest especially when coughing. The influenza was also fairly painful and the doctor gave me some antibiotics and I slowly got better at home. We have flu shots each year but it must have been a variation to the usual strain so I managed to contact it. The pleurisy was very painful; it came suddenly on the Wednesday morning and I stayed in bed all day until Wala came home late in the afternoon. We discussed what might be the correct direction for its treatment and opted for something completely different; Wala made a triple 000 call and the ambulance arrived. This was a trip I had never done before but the ambos kept the siren silent!  The first thing they asked me in the ambulance after connecting a cathoda to my arm was “have you got any health cards” I gave them my wallet and they found 3. That Wednesday was the busiest the pubic hospitals hade ever been but the guys managed to get me into a fairly new private hospital in town so off we went. Wala stayed home. My next new experience was an injection to stop the pain. I asked what the stuff was – fyentinal. you know, the stuff you here about regarding drug overdoses. The ambos assured me that I would not end up being a full drug addict! My next new experience was to be admitted into the hospital. They put me into the emergency area and wheeled me around to do scans etc to ascertain what was wrong with me. I thought I would be in the hospital overnight but it ended up being 6 days. They pumped in liquid antibiotics twice a day and took blood readings to ascertain how the infection was progressing with CRP protein readings each day. They kept me informed by way of a big whiteboard in front of me. So, that was my set of new experiences! I feel OK now albeit a bit tired. I go for a short walk each day and seem to be gradually getting my strength back. The CPR readings started off the scale and my blood pressure readings also. They discharged me once these had stabilised.

Have you found the cost of accommodation and living very high in Scotland? When we used to visit some time ago we used to wonder how people managed to live on the small salaries advertised in the employment windows. We also wondered what everyone did in London. Lots of people seemed to always have lots of money and we figured that the country used to import stuff and re-export it applying a margin to make money! The class system is very much alive and well – always has been. Many of the Brits who migrate/visit Australia have an unusual attitude to us. Australia does not have a class system in the same league as the UK. Its now Wednesday and Grandma is walking and Waltzing Matilda. She said that she would send you and email tonight so its 2 for the price of 1.

We are looking forward to having some visitors next month and also the beginning of October. Martin and Roman are flying over on 20/9 and returning on 25/9. Mirella is not coming as she is still unwell. Julie, Craig and Ava Latimore (Julie is Bruce and Fran’s daughter) will here on 2-6/10 after coming down from Darwin on 22/9 and hiring an RV to tour Kangaroo Island. Julie is back at sea again as 2nd mate on a Survey ship in Bass Strait. She has moved from a desk job based in Darwin in charge of the operations of a big company which has contracts in Perth, Darwin and Cairns. She says she is glad she is back at sea again although Bass Strait would not be my choice of area.

We too are looking forward to reading Amos’s psychology assignment on you. When he told us about what he is doing we thought you would be a good subject! He has undertaken to let us have a look after he has submitted it. He writes very well and sometimes I think he has surprised himself about how well he is doing this year. He still manages to get over to Yorkes every so often to do some surfing which is a good change.

Just trying to figure what I was doing when I was 22. At Adelaide University doing Engineering. This course started with 130 students of which 30 got through with a degree. Some moved from UA to what changed to the Uni of SA which was on the corner of Frome Rd and North Tce. Things did not work out for me in that environment and it turned out my time was wasted. I had good friends there but from what I know now I figure I was suffering from anxiety disorder. It took a long time for me to realise why I just could not do exams (that’s what everyone was assessed on until the institutions figured they were wasting a lot of time and talent and changed to assignment testing combined with exams). People are the only ones who can help themselves with these mental problems with some help providing they can face what the underlying problem is. On the odd occasion Grandma and I have been worried about outcomes for both you and Amos. We discussed these situations and used our old saying – “we are here to watch your backs” meaning we leave things for both of you to sort and try to give positive assistance when we think its needed. Both you and Amos are on the right track and we are very proud we are around to be involved.

I’ll attach some photos – I think they don’t require any captions

Love

Grandpa xxx

Email from away 2
Wala Timms
To: Jessica Timms
Thursday 8/28/2024 2:39 PM

Hi Jess

It is always great to get a newsy email from you and I believe grandpa wrote a longish reply yesterday. It has been a most disruptive month for me after you left with grandpa being ill with influenza A for 2 weeks and then 6 days in hospital with pleurisy. He has recovered but still has not the zip he once had and it has made me more conscious than ever that we are both in that last phase of a person’s life. While I had time on my own I made a start to de cluttering our house. My sewing room has had many bits and pieces taken to the op shop and I want to get rid of my sewing machines in the garage in the next 6 months. I keep adding to books and yesterday bought 3 at the library for 50 cents each. I found a copy of short stories by Daphne du Maurier at the Salvos and read these this week. I am sure the story of the birds attacking a small village in the UK was used by Alfred Hitchcock for his frightening film called The Birds in the 1960’s.Her novel called “Rebecca” is one of my favourite novels and I found a copy of this book years ago and it is still on my bookshelf.On Wednesday I went with my friend Wanda to see a play “Julia” about Julia Gillard. You would have enjoyed this production. For one and a half hours the actress Justine Clark becomes Julia Gillard telling her story from a young girl growing up in Wales to becoming a politician and later the first female prime minister and all she had to endure from fellow male politicians. The play ended with her giving that electrifying speech to Tony Abbott about sexism and mysogany. Last Friday Grandpa managed to walk up the hill to get the bus to go to the Mercury. As he has been bed ridden for almost 3 weeks in the past month his muscles are not working well but he slowly managed the short walk and we saw a mexican movie “Totem”. There was not much of a story to the film but a brilliant study of 3 generations of people in one family dealing with the preparations of a birthday party for a younger son who has cancer and not likely to survive. I hope this weeks movie called Mr Blake will be a happier one with more story.

We had an electrician here all morning changing all the fitting in the kitchen and family room as we were down to 2 out of 6 globes in the family room and 2 out of 4 in the kitchen. We contacted the electrician about 5 weeks ago and he ordered new fittings that have globes that last for 50,000 hours before the fittings need replacing as they have some special globes. Grandpa cannot now get up the long ladder and I found the previous fitting too difficult to change so we waited until most needed attention before replacing the lot and hopefully they will last until we are no longer here. 

I had a reply from my cousin Angelika Opel in Germany so if you are in Germany give her a call The number that I got from Bianca yesterday when I took Matilda for her usual Wednesday walk was. Paul, Bianca and the 2 children stayed 1 night last year when they visited Bianca’s relatives. This number is different to the old number I have in my address book but she may now have a different phone but Angelika still lives at Preuschwitzer Strasse. She is 70 so 10 years younger than me and speaks some English. Her son Johannas and wife Doris have 2 children a 10 year old Marie and a 5 year old Johanna. They must live nearby as Angelika did much baby sitting when the girls were very small. In her last email to me(she always writes in German and I get it translated by grandpa or the last time by Amos using Google translate). She asked if I was on WhatsApp or Signal. No I am not but I think you connect to your parents via WhatsApp. Her email address on her last email to me was still —— so you may be able to contact her via email or WhatsApp

There are many beautiful old historic towns in this part of Germany. Some that I have visited like Bamberg, Nuerenberg, Munich are easily accessible by train or bus from Bayreuth but it gets very cold in winter with lots of thick snow so you need to be prepared with layers of clothes and rain gear.

I feel spring is nearly here as the plum and apricot trees in our garden are now in blossom and the templetonia(cockey’s tongue)is now a mass of reddish flowers so many that you can hardly see any green leaves. I have potted about 30 carob seedlings for your dad. These self germinated form the pods that the birds ate last season dropping many seeds on the ground in the mulch. Your dad came to Adelaide last Friday so he and Amos were here for an evening meal and I gave him his 51st birthday present. He, your mum, Jason and Aurora were away from home planting hundreds of seedlings for the council contract to revegitate some area. Although it was very windy on Tuesday and yesterday it is now sunny and calm.

I hope you continue to enjoy your travelling experiences and meeting some interesting people but travelling on your own can be lonely so you might consider going on the occasional small group tour with young people to make some travel more relaxing.

Lots of love   Grandma Timms

Email from away 3
Jessica Timms
To: Frank Timms
Mon 9/30/2024 3:33 AM

Hi grandma and grandpa

Sorry again for the late response. Thank you for your Lovley emails, two for the price of one –  how lucky am I !!

Its interesting what grandpa said about conspiracy theories and the black plague. I definitely agree that they have been reincarnated throughout history in different ways. I was listening to this podcast the other day that was focused on folklore and mythology and the host made a great point that modern-day conspiracy theories are similar to ancient myths. Both come from a strong emotion, whether that’s fear, insecurity, or outrage and all have the ability to inform peoples actions. I remember thinking about the Salem witch trials and how there are similarities with a lot of conspiracy theories today. I guess it comes down to ordinary people trying to rationalize what they don’t understand, and I guess that even in our ‘advanced’ society there is still so much about the world that confuses people and causes them to come up with these stories that they tell themselves and convince others of.

I volunteered at another community garden in my last week in Edinburgh. Ewen – who was my friends dad that I was staying with works for a homelessness NGO and they have a partnership with this garden that runs workshops and volunteer days. It was such a gorgeous space, so well ordered with signs everywhere. They had this massive cob oven that they used to make cheese scones and soup for all the people who came to help. It was located next to a psychiatric ward so some patients were walking around with their carers as well. Being in that space just made me think about how therapeutic gardening is. For people experiencing homelessness one of the main factors keeping them in the poverty trap is low self-respect. They feel unsuccessful for not having a house, unaccomplished for not having a stable job, unable because they often haven’t been shown how. Gardening and teaching people how to use fresh produce is almost a process of self empowerment, you realize that you have the ability to create what you need, often cheaper then what you can buy it. Like grandma always says cheaper to cook at home then eat out every night. Gardening also encourages a greater appreciation for fresh produce, you realize what goes into creating it and therefore respect it more. The act of just being outside and putting your hands in the dirt is also so great for your mental health. I was probably the youngest person volunteering there by about 30 years, which was fine because I enjoy interacting with different generations but I also thought it was a shame because young people would really benefit from this from of community engagement.

I miss my friends in Edinburgh. I have been making a playlist as I go travelling – just a collection of songs that I find or re-find or overhear or get shown by people. I listened to it the other day and it brought back all the memories of my time in the city. I made a little video using some of the footage I had collected during my stay and i will send it in another email for you to watch when you get a chance. It was a very cathartic process putting the edit together, choosing what footage to use made me reflect on the moments that were significant to me. I found that it was mix of both time spent with people but also time spent by myself just immersing myself in the city you will see in the video that these two different experiences actually complemented each other.

My last week in Edinburgh was bitter sweet , it was a lot of goodbye but this is something that I have gotten quite good at by now. A lot of the goodbyes were farewells for now so that gave me some comfort. It was nice getting to exist in the city without the expectation of working and I found myself just going on lots of long walks. I really appreciated the fact that I was travelling by myself and could just wake up each morning and decide what I felt like doing without having to compromise my plans for others. I think it’s really good for my mental health having the ability to live in the moment , sometimes I can get quite anxious about the future and what it holds for myself and the planet. When I’m travelling, I never plan more than a few months ahead which gives me the freedom to just focus on the now and how I feel in the present. 

On my last weekend in Edinburgh, I went camping with my new founds friends and we had a Lovley time. We just 

camped on the beach and played Frisby and went swimming and sat around the fire and made dahl and listened to music and had big chats about small things. It was a perfect day and night that reminded me a lot of going camping when I was younger. In the morning, I woke up and went to grab my phone to check the time only to realize that it was not in the tent. Me and my friends spent about an hour scouring where we had camped but unfortunately no luck. To most people this would signal the end of the world, but for me however it was almost a relief, I had been riding this incredible high from the past week that it did not even make me upset. I lost a lot of photos and voice notes, things that I had previously put a lot of value on. However, I realized that those memories are still there, in fact they are almost stronger because I don’t have the physical evidence of them. I remember a photographer telling me about his time in Tasmanian and how he brought a film camera and took all of these amazing photos from the places he travelled. When he went to get the film developed something went wrong and he lost all his images. However, he could go back to Tasmania today and remember all the spots he took those photos. I feel a similar way about my phone , comforted by the fact that I experienced all these things and not upset that I no longer have evidence of them. It was nice not having a phone for a few days , part of me wanted to keep it that way but it is practically impossible when travelling by yourself. The English pounds you gave me ended up coming in handy and I spent them on a second hand phone, same make and model as my old one.

I’m sorry to hear that you have had some more health complications grandpa, I’m sending my love and wishes of good health from afar. I must admit that before leaving it was weighting on me quite heavily. It’s easier to leave when you know that the people you are leaving behind are doing well. I could not imagine what I would do if anything happened to you while I was way, but I was also comforted by the fact that you have always supported my travel aspirations. It sounds like you have had many new experiences in the past couple of weeks, maybe not all of them as pleasant as you would hope for. I’m glad to hear that you are not a drug addict hahaa fentanyl is dangerous stuff – ive heard stories of entire towns falling into ruin because it finds its way into the recreational drug supply. I hope they looked after you well in hospital, six days is a long time so I imagine you got to know the doctors and nurses quite well. I’m glad that you are taking measures to help regain your strength , every little bit counts and walking is so good for your physical and mental wellbeing which are two things that take a beating when you are sick or not feeling your normal self.

Cost of living is a very interesting concept, after experiencing it in a different country I now realize that it is not just the price of things but the price of things relative to wage. On paper the cost of things seems similar – 3.80 for a coffee, 5 for a nice sandwich , 2.50 for a bag of bread. But then you start doing the conversions in your head and realize that 5 pound sandwich is over 7 AUD and then you start thinking about how much you get paid an hour (minimum wage here is 12 pounds) and then you realize that sandwich is nearly half your hourly wage. The pay here is quite terrible and the cost of groceries and rent is quite extortionate, the two making a combination that doesn’t really allow people to get ahead. I have a friend in Edinburgh who just started a job in social work and she did the math’s in terms of how much she was making and how much she would be spending on accommodation and food in Edinburgh. Her conclusion was quite confronting – she would not be able to save any money and would essentially be at a net zero by the end of the month. Something I have also noticed about being over here is that the quality of fruit and vegetables is not the same as in Australia, which is something I just took for granted growing up there. Multiple factors are at play , a lot of it has to do with the harsh UK climate and lack of farmable land, however I think that Brexit also had a part to play in the declining standards of produce.

I talked to Amos on the phone the other day and he mentioned that he had dinner at your house with uncle Marty. How is he going ? any updates ? I imagine still working himself to what is hopefully an early retirement haha. Is roman still bouldering?  I went the other day at my new local gym, its very small but has all you need and often you are the only one there. I met a guy last week who taught me how to use the top rope and acted as my belayer while I climbed up the wall. My years of tree climbing paid off as I was not afraid of the height. He said that I was a natural and we have plans to meet up again sometime soon.

I’m glad to hear that grandma is still reading and going to the theater. I have had a bit more time to read recently which is nice but am missing the arts scene in Edinburgh. You have probably deduced already that I have officially left the city. After the fringe ended, I started applying for jobs with accommodation in the Scottish highlands and islands. I felt like i still had more to learn about Scotland so wanted to spend more time here but in an environment that was different from the city. One morning a job came up for the ‘cuillin hills hotel’ which was located in this place called ‘isle of skye’ I hadn’t heard of it before but applied instantly because there was something about the name ‘isle of skye’ that just sounded so romantic. Two days latter I was being interviewed and then offered the job. Four days after that I was on a train from Edinburgh to inverness and then a bus from inverness to Portree – my current home away from home. People call skye the land of the fairies and I can see why. The whole landscape has this air of magic about it. I remember crossing over the bridge separating the island and the mainland, looking out over the water to where the sky touches the sea and feeling like I was entering the heavens. It is a feeling that has not been lost even though I have nearly been here for three weeks now.

Cuillin hills is a four star hotel with a restaurant inside and one of the most magnificent views you will ever see. The mountains here are so dynamic and dramatic and I find myself getting constantly distracted by the scenery while working. The other morning I went outside to take a photo and a guest questioned me about it ‘why do you take photos when you see this everyday’ , I said to them that its because the view changes everyday , sometimes every hour. Different times of day and different types of weather illuminate and hide certain elements of the scenery so whenever I come to work it is always a bit different. My typical day goes as follows 6:40 wake up and get ready for work (a flattering uniform of all black complete with a charcoal apron). 6:58 walk to work, 7 arrive at work. The ehouse that I am staying in is staff accommodation that I share with one other lady in her early 50s. She reminds me of you guys in some ways, she is an avid gardener (grandma) makes her own wine (grandpa) and a very hard worker (both of you).  It is an absolutely stunning place, we have a garden out front and tomato plants growing in the lounge room. My bedroom has a veranda and two big windows with incredible views of the ocean. If I was a tourist coming to stay I would probably spend more then 500 pounds a night to stay here, as a worker it costs me 40 pounds a week – the other benefit being that it is two minutes from work. At 7 I would walk into the hotel , make myself an oat milk flat white on their commercial coffee machine and then prepare myself for breakfast service. We have about 80 guests stay with us every night , prices ranging from 500 pounds to 700 pounds for a room, so you can imagine the kind of cliental we receive. Interestingly a majority of them , I would say over 90%,  are American tourists.  Breakfast service finishes around 11 and then I am free for 6 hours before the dinner shift starts at 5.

I’ve found that this schedule works really well for me – I get very energized from interacting with people and so finish my shift ready to maximize my day. It’s interesting being here because time goes so quick yet I feel like I have been here for so long. I have realised that this is because I am filling my days so well. In my splits I will go and journal in a café or go bouldering or stay at home and create something , but my favoriteething to do is go walking. In Scotland there is this law called ‘the right to roam’ and essentially it allows you to walk on private property without any repercussions. Often I will just take off from town and find a mountain and then walk to the top of that mountain jumping over fences and dodging sheep. I’ve found lots of spectacular views and beautiful waterfalls doing this, and the fact that I am not following a path per say makes it feel like more of an adventure. It is hard hiking here however , the mountains are covered with squishy moss and thick heather and I have come back from works on multiple occasions with soaked shoes. On the whole I have been pretty lucky with the weather so far , there was a week of pure sunshine and it almost felt like summer. I was outside pretty much all of those days, trying to maximize my time in the sun before it eventually left, there were a few days I even went swimming.

I’ve met a girl at work called Kate who is also from Australia and we are two peas in a pod. On the day that I arrived I say a few of my collogues who were having dinner in the staff area and they lost their minds at how similar we were purely on looks. As I’ve gotten to know Kate I realise that we also have a similar personality and freakishly alike mannerisms . She is an excellent adventure buddy, last week we spent a whole day together walking up a hill climbing trees, making hammocks and foraging for mushrooms.  I see a great friendship on the horizon and possibly more… We are both bisexual (which is something about myself I’m not sure if I’ve ever told you directly) and so there is a possibility of something happening but neither of us want to rush into anything quite yet. I’m getting along with all my co-workers really well and was happy to be quickly accepted into their social network. I think something I’ve released about myself is I am very adaptable – both in terms of surroundings but also people. everyone I work with is very different however I have managed to establish common grown with all of them, part of this comes from my lack of judgment and also my ability to get along well with people.

I haven’t had to use any of my savings since ive been travelling. The money I am making over here is enough to sustain me now and probably pay for the first part of my European travels. When we are on shift, we get a meals provided for both breakfast and dinner so I haven’t been spending much on food. There are only a couple of pubs on town so the nighlife isn’t causing me to spend that much. This job is especially helpful for saving because of the amount of tips we receive, last week I worked around 40 hours and got paid over 400 pounds. Every payment has a service charge which is a percentage of the cost added to the bill and this gets divided up every week. On top of this people (especially Americans) will also leave cash tips. Ive been getting lots of good feedback from my managers about my ability to entertain customers. While I don’t like the feeling that I have to perform my personality in order to be recognized, I am getting a lot of joy from my interactions with people at work. I have lots of tables say that I remind them of their daughters, or compliment on my personality and customer service. A lot of people are just curious about what I am doing and why I am here. Sometimes the questions are a bit repetitive, but every time I get to improve my response and rethink the things that have brought me to this place in my life.

Thanks you for passing on angelikas details, im sure I will be passing through Germany at some point and would love to meet her. Unfortunately I have not received a email from pam yet , will check my junk mail again bit maybe she got the wrong email? The one you are using gets to me.

Thank you for also watching my back !! even though you are thousands of miles away I still feel supported and know that I can reach out if I ever come into bother. So far so good I guess !!

Those are all my updates so far.  Look forward to hearing back from you again soon !!

Lots of love

Jess

Email from away 3
Frank Timms
To: Jess Timms
Mon 11/04/2024 6:pm AM

Hi Jess

Its your birthday on Saturday 2nd so have a good day with your friends as a celebration. 22 is a good age and a good time for optimism.

I have been meaning to email you and have left it so far to Wala sending you one just after your last one; so it must be better getting another one with a 3 week or something gap!

Its Wednesday today and Wala is walking at Brighton and then Waltzing Matilda at Eden Hills – she is three and a half now and they are the best of mates after all the walks they have done to the Wittunga Botanical Gardens on Shepherds Hill Road where they read books and feed the magpies and eat lunch. Johanna now comes home via the back fence of the school which adjoins their house in the valley so its a shorter walk for her. Wala says she is a bit behind in her schooling as there is not the reading program there was when you were at home at Corny Point. We are not sure whether the children will be able to attend out of school programs as they have not been vaccinated. Paul is doing 3 shifts a week at the hospital and Bianca still has her gardening contracts I think via the NDIS. Paul is still building his stone walls and the children still sleep in in their parents’ room although Johanna does have her own room; I guess she will move permanently into this once she starts to get more independence.

Sounds like your accommodation arrangements are spot on – you could not get a better arrangement . Your employer obviously is not into filling tables on a maximum turnaround like the one in the Adelaide Market so you can make plenty of contacts, make the clients feel at home and provide yourself with some changes to the routine. Sounds and expensive place to stay but many of these retired people have large financial backups and can afford to indulge themselves. As they say “its another world” until you can join it! When we were in Scotland we did a 4-5 day tour from Edinburgh and we passed the landward side of the bridge which connects the Isle of Sky. You are a brave lady doing swimming as it looked remarkably on the cold side when we were travelling around.

Its surprising you have not received any communication from Pam and Mona on Malta – her email address is pamar.martin@btinternet.com so try again. Might be worth a visit on your way from or to Morocco. Pam and Mona have been together for years and they have both retired from GP practice and have built a house on Malta where Mona originally comes from. I think they still have the house in London. Clare tells us they would make you more than welcome.

Its now Monday and I have not completed your email! gives me time to contemplate.

I am in the throws of checking our tax returns for our accountant in Sydney. Wala will have a big bill but mine will not be in the same league.

Your mum came for dinner last night. Amos was going to come but decided to do some more study as he has his 2 final exams this week. Grandma sent him a nice bag of goodies and a card wishing him good luck and some money for him and Ellie to go to the fantastic exhibition (the only one in Australia) of glass blowing on a huge scale at the Botanic Gardens by  Dale Chihuly the world’s most celebrated contemporary glass artist. The exhibits are on a truly epic scale. It ends in April next year.

As usual Wala’s garden is in its full glory again. We have had a mammoth crop of mulberries this year and we picked the last of them yesterday. Her poppies as usual are in deep competition with the Taliban and the roses are in full bloom – she has just gone out to dead head them to encourage a late flush. The lemon tree has a huge crop and the apricots and plums have the potential for a big crop later this year or January. The fig crop is non-existent with only about 6 figs on our trees so I don’t know what’s wrong there. Our rainfall is way down this year and many of the farmers are just going to harvest fodder. Its the opposite in the eastern states where they are in the process of harvesting one of the biggest crops ever. Your dad is gearing up for a big expedition to Eyre Peninsula to harvest seeds. He has just completed a big 2 days buying a large quantity of framing for igloo hot houses near Murray Bridge with a 5 ton hire truck to transport it to Corny Point. He is going to erect a big hot house on Eyre Peninsula to dry the seed he collects as he picks it.

My health is slowly getting better and over the last few days I have been feeling better mentally. My GP and a lung specialist have given me some new drugs and asked me to take blood readings and attend a clinic for monitoring. I see the GP this afternoon and the lung specialist on Thursday – its the last throw of the dice as far as I am concerned as I am sick of doing health type things and taking blood readings 4 times a day! Wala has just regained her usual vigour and is sparking on all cylinders again after suffering the same cold/chest complaint as me.

That was bad luck loosing your phone. I used to loose things when I was working and always managed to find them again. Somebody may have stolen it but that’s probably not what happened if all of you were camped in a place where strangers are not hanging around. 

Good to hear you considered the loss not the end of the world although the loss of your photos must have been difficult.

The big discussion politically is the cost of living and energy prices. I sometimes think I am a black and white person and think that some solutions are just common sense. The lack of solutions to some of our problems are caused by the amount of secret lobbying going on politically and within our big corporations. My solution (a trumpet blows) is that all money made in Australia is taxed in Australia at a democratic rate. Why should many of these foreign owned corporations pay no tax or very little by basing their businesses in places where there is no tax. If they threaten to move completely offshore and not do business here economics says another company will see an opportunity and open up. It is even worse in the UK where the population is divided into classes which earn an income which does not allow them to earn enough to pull themselves up. Whenever we were in the UK I used to just double what the price in pounds was to get Aust. dollars – its still the same.

Where-ever we have lived we have made new friends and our return to Adelaide has always involved trying to fit into our friends we left who have not changed. It always takes a year or so before we fit in again. Your friend Kate sounds an interesting person – are you both the same age? You are a mature person and getting on with your work colleagues and clients is important and an ability you should treasure. You have good leadership qualities and this will help you as life goes on. Don’t forget we are only an email away so we can still watch your back. You and Amos have been a real breeze compared to other families most of whom never discuss any personal matters and this is one of the reasons why there are many mental problems surfacing in the population.

I’ll download some photos from Wala’s snappy tom camera a see if there are any which are suitable for 22 year olds. The ring-ins are Julie, Craig and Ava from Darwin – Bruce and Fran’s daughter who commands ships – she has been working in Bass Strait.

Lots of Love

Grandpa xxx

Email from away 3
Wala Timms
To: Jess Timms
Mon 10/01/2024 3:30 PM

Hi Jess,

Thank you again for your long and informative email. We were wondering how you were on the isle of skye as your mum had told us that you had been successful in getting a position there that included accommodation. That is certainly the way to get to see interesting places without it costing a fortune and the Americans are used to a tipping culture in hospitality as the rates that people get in these jobs is so low that they rely on tips to get a living wage. On our first trip to the USA we found the whole tipping thing in hotels very confronting as Australians did not have this system and paid reasonable wages. I notice that tipping is gaining a footing in Sydney, Melbourne and parts of Adelaide. I hope we never get to the American way as it means that the hotel owners don’t pay their staff well and is a way of decreasing their costs. Your photos and video gave us a glimpse of your time away so far. the hotel where you are working is certainly in a scenic spot and having a 2 minute stroll to start work certainly beats an hour or more travel at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day. It takes us about 55 minutes some days to get to the city by bus so if we were working there it means an extra 2 hours out of the day just travelling. In some cities around the world and including cities like Sydney, Melbourne or Brisbane this can be even more time and expense. To ease the congestion on the roads in Brisbane the current labour government has recently brought a 50 cent fare for all fares. This was so successful in the trial month that the present government (an election will be held in 4 weeks) and the liberal party that is expected to win have decided to keep the low fares.Grandpa and I certainly use our free fares when we go into town to the Mercury.

It was great to have Martin and Roman here in the last week and to have everyone for a catch up dinner and see Amos for his 18th birthday. He did not want balloons etc. but we had a variety of food for all tastes. Your dad drove up on Friday evening and so we were able to see him then and on Saturday when he cooked the barbecue meats. He was able to have some time to chat to Martin without everyone else being around. Unfortunately your mum stayed behind in Corny Point to look after the plants and animals as she had been to Adelaide the previous 2 weekends. Roman and Angus have both grown every tall and Angus is now the tallest and biggest of the 3 boys. During the Saturday evening I found it quite intriguing that the 3 all pulled out their phones and did not talk to one another. I wonder how that generation is going to cope. People skills are still essential to avoid feelings of isolation and being lonely. This is already a problem of many elderly people who have outlived their contemporaries and have not made friends of another generation or do not have good family support. While I do not have the same relationship with Roman that I have had with you and Amos I have been writing a snail mail letter to him and his parents every Monday for the past 4 years as a way of keeping in touch. He rarely replies but Martin has been ringing us every 2 weeks or so on his way home from work and we have a 3 way conversation as he rings on our home number so both grandpa and I can each use the hand piece to talk and listen and so Martin does not have to repeat himself. We both appreciate the long emails that you are sending to us as it keeps us in touch and we find them so interesting. It is like having a conversation with you so do keep the emails coming every so often when you have some spare moments. I have asked grandpa to print them and I have begun a folder for you.I recently found a diary I kept of my first trip by train to Alice Springs and a DC6 plane to Darwin in 1962. It made interesting reading as I was 18 and still at teachers College. I had met Frank at University and his parents had invited me to stay in Darwin during the holidays and see if I would like to request the education department to send me to Darwin after I graduated as I had to teach in a country school anywhere the department needed a teacher as part of my scholarship. The Northern territory was then staffed and regulated by the South Australian Education Department. This was the beginning of many great times that Frank and I have had working and visiting different countries. It changed me from a very shy quiet insecure person to a much happier and confident one. While Martin and your dad were small we always travelled as a family and so could not go on organised tours(they did not cater for small children) but managed to travel to the Asian countries  USA and Europe before mass tourism took off. Frank was often working away from home for long periods during the year so our holidays were usually 7 to 8 weeks and a great time to do things as a family. while Roman was here he looked at the photo albums that you and Amos used to get out in the lounge. He was fascinated to see Martin on an around the word trip  when Martin was about the same age that Roman is now. I am so pleased that you have taken this year to travel at a leisurely pace. Working and saving for the next few months and taking the time to meet different people. Walking and using public transport-bus, train tram,tuk-tuks is a great way to explore places and if you can do it with a friend or two it often adds to the enjoyment.

I am off to see a play tomorrow. David Williams play called Questions but as I have Julie Timms and family from Darwin coming to stay for 4 days I have made a Ukrainian salad and roasted some chicken thighs so that I do not have to cook when I get home. Roman helped me make 3 caked last week so I still have 2 frozen for visitors this week. At the market we saw a lemon pie like the one I make for $60. Everyone was amazed as we were going to eat a lemon pie for dessert that night. Labour costs as well as mark ups make some foods very expensive. Yes we still go to the Adelaide market on Saturday but we did buy some crisp this season apples at Woodside when we took Martin and Roman to the Birdwood Motor Museum during their stay. Fruit has always expensive in the UK. I was so desperate for some fruit on one of our trips that I paid the equivalent of $Aust2 for an apple from a supermarket in London. In Adelaide we have been very spoilt for good quality reasonably priced fruit and vegetables. However this is now changing as more and more people are paying so much for rent or mortgages that they do not have enough money left for good food and are now relying on the various organisations like Food bank to get supplies.Our lemon tree is at present loaded with lovely fruit so I do not need to pay $1. for a piece of fruit and at lunch time today I picked enough mulberries to have a bowl each for dessert tonight.

I am pleased that the cash I gave you has been put to good use to replace your lost phone. I still use my mobile minimally but I know that your generation and Martin’s generation use your phones for messaging, banking, finding directions, news,photos. It is increasingly difficult to do without a mobile phone as my friend Wanda is finding out but at 85 she is not going to bother to learn to use one and is still managing to do all the things she wants to do with a little help from Frank and me.

Grandpa is feeling better but is finding he still gets very short of breath when he walks any distance but I am trying to get him to go for a short walk behind our house in the reserve each day. It is very colourful in Adelaide at present and my garden is full of orange, pink and white from various plants in flower. The orange clivias that came from my mothers garden are particularly showy this year. Enjoy your time in Scotland and enjoy the many new sights , sounds and people you encounter in the next few months. The songs on the video you sent are not familiar to me. we used to listen to Peter Paul and Mary, The Seekers,Paul Simon, Joan Baez, Joni Mitchell, I am just reading a book about Leonard Cohan a Canadian poet and song writer who also wrote some memorable pieces. Although Jewish, he spent many years living on a Greek island with other artistic folk  then lived in a buddist compound and at nearly 80 went on a world tour when it was discovered that his saving had been embezzled by a trusted friend. It is an interesting read.     

Lots of love  Grandma Timms

Dissaperance
Frank Timms
To: Jessica Timms
Mon 11/18/2024 9:00 AM

Hi Jess

Grandma is getting very worried about you as we have not heard from you for a long time.

What’s happening in your part of the world?

Your dad popped in on Friday after buying a lot of material to construct another hot house at Streaky Bay on Eyre Peninsula. He left Corny point this morning with an assistant to do some some seed picking and construction of the new hot house. He will be very busy for the next few weeks. Amos has gone back to CP and is looking forward to doing some surfing and sleeping in.

Love

Grandma and Grandpa xxx

Dissaperance
Jessica Timms
To: Frank Timms
Mon 11/23/2024 6:18 PM

Hi  Grandma and Grandpa

Thank you for your email ,very  sorry for not getting back to you sooner.  I am alive and well, maybe a little bit too alive, hence my lack of response. 

I am getting ready to wrap up my time in skye , Thursday was my last shift at the Cullin Hill’s hotel. I have a week to catch up on all my life backlog (the email to you included) and then will be onto the next adventure.

Hope you guys are well and anjoying the sunshine – its snowing here at the moment .

Lots of love jess x

The email you have been waiting for (email from away 4)
Jessica Timms
To: Frank Timms
Mon 12/22/2024 12:28 AM

Hello Grandma and Grandpa !!

I am glad to hear that you have been enjoying my Long and informative emails because this one is no exception. I think this may be my longest one yet, so I definitely understand if it takes you a while to get through all of it. Hopefully it will provide you with some light entrainment over the busy holiday season. Thank you for collecting them for me , it will be nice to reflect on them all in a couple of years time. 

I’m glad grandma enjoyed her birthday celebration ,thank you for sending through the photos it was really nice to see pictures of everyone. I hope you guys are doing well in Adelaide and doing all the things that bring you joy.

This email is a bit different from other ones I have sent. I started writing it a few months ago so it is a mix of past moments and preset reflections. It is less linear than my others, reads a lot more like a compilation of random thoughts. Despite this I hope you are still able to see the story within and find some cohesion.

Skye is a place of extremes, where waterfalls run into the sea and on sunny days you will still find mountains capped with snow. There is something so mesmerizing about the landscape, I think part of it is how frequently it changes. You can experience 4 seasons in one day and see a weeks’ worth of sunrises that are all different. I remember one morning the sunrise was especially spectacular and I went outside to take a photo. Afterwards one of the guests questioned me ‘you are here every morning why do you take a photo?’. Its because every morning the scene changes. The landscape is incredibly dynamic and it has been a great joy over the past few months to see it transform with the seasons. When I arrived, everything was still leafy and there were signs of summer, but by the time I left the leaves had disappeared and the sun became replaced by snow. I think this is another reason I enjoy slow travel – it gives you the chance to experience a place in many ways and see how the weather informs the customs.

I’m beginning to understand why they call skye the island of the fairies. There is a mysticism here that feels ancient. You see it going on hikes in the mountains where rainbows cover the paths and frosted heather sparkles in the sun. There is a legend from the island about the mclead clan whose chief married a fairy. They stayed together for a year but the fairy had to return to her world,as a parting gift she gave her beloved a magical flag with the instruction that they could use its magic in a time of need. The fairy then dived off a bridge into the river bellow and was never seen again.  In celtic spirituality water is a powerful symbol because it represents the liminal space between the overworld and the underworld, reality, and fantasy.  Some of the rivers on skye are rumored to have special properties and you still see people swimming in them hoping for eternal youth or increased luck. Something I’m realizing about the Celtic belief system is how, in stark contrast to Christianity, it encourages a respect of the natural world. Scotland was once covered in forests, birch and pine trees littered the high and lowlands.  Its difficult to imagine these wooded lands when driving across the now barren tundra that Is riddled with bogs. It was when the romans invaded and colonized the landscape with their new beliefs and farming practices that the trees started to disappear, sure there were also climatic events going on but these were not server enough to cause permanent deforestation. 

Something im learning while travelling is how interconnected we are with our environment. We influence our surroundings but our surroundings influence us. In some ways this is a key element of human adaptation and it often confronts us with a choice – either we mold the environment to suit our needs (often in the Christian domination tradition) or we change ourselves to suit the environment (often in the nomadic more pagan tradition). In Scotland I’ve gotten to experience the conflict between these two strains of existence. In Edinburgh the settlers dominated the landscape building castles on top of hills and redirecting the flow of rivers, in skye the locals embrace the landscape building their houses in the foothills and having one lane roads. The environment in skye is extreme but that severity also makes it resistant to change. The cuillin hills are over 60 million years old and while they have been eroded overtime they still stand tall above the lochs bellow.

I’ve met a guy at the climbing gym called Finn. It was my second time going and he was there bouldering , we got chatting and seemed to hit it off. He has been teaching me how to top rope which is great fun and only slightly terrifying. Its an incredible feeling once you get to the top but the climb up can be incredible daunting. Finn taught me how to belayer (which is essentially the person who holds your life in their hands when you are climbing) After only a few attempts he trusted me enough to belay him, I thought this was a good sign for our blossoming relationship. Finn grew up in Edinburgh but has spent the past 6 years on Skye, long enough to be recognized at the pub. He was really nervous about inviting me to his place, his bothy (basic shelter) on the croft (small piece of land)’. He said that its not for everyone, that he has had people leave because they didn’t like it. After that I was even more excited to go. Upon jumping out to open the rusty fence and driving down the  narrow dirt driveway I realized that he had nothing to worry about because it reminded me of home, toilet outside , random bits of metal thrown around, at least 20 unfished projects, chickens in the backyard, wood stove, mismatched mugs. I was immediately comfortable.  It was a stunning spot right along the coast with views of a neighboring island. One day me and Finn took out the kayak and sat watching the sunset over the mountains. The reflection of the hills combined with the setting sun on the water was beautiful, I laid back and felt totally at peace. There is a new colour I have discovered on skye , a kind of lilac, one of the most beautiful shades of purple I have ever seen. Once I found it , I started seeing it everywhere. In the skye when the sunrises and sets, on the mountains during dusk light and moonshine, in the heather and even in the sea, it follows you around the island and I find myself missing it now I am away. I’m always amazed by the colors you find in nature, the shades and hues that can emerge from the environment. I remember the night I saw the northern lights for the first time. We were sitting inside watching a movie and one of our friends comes running in demanding we go outside. At first, we were confused and then we looked up. Its impossible to replicate the sounds we were making, ones of pure joy and awe. We spent at least an hour outside marveling at the skye watching the colors and shapes change. Finn has  twin brother who works on the wild salmon farms , after knowing me for a day he gave me a whole salmon. I was absolutely stoked, probably one of the best gifts I had ever received. The salmon from skye is absolutely delicious but as a consequence extremely expensive. The fish who I named barry was probably worth over 200 pounds. His brother had gutted it but it was up to me to fillet it, after watching a few YouTube videos I felt confident enough. I actually really enjoyed the process, it was a good skill to learn and the end result wasn’t too shabby. I ended up making a nice roasted salmon and shared it with friends latter that day. I think half of Barry is still in the freezer because there was a lot of him to get through.

I’ve been happy the past week because the sun has been out and shinning. I’ve finally gotten a taste of summer and was wearing a t shirt and shorts today.  We’ve been going swimming at a spot we call the fish farm (because you can see the wild salmon farm in the background) . There is a perfect rock seat that you can sunbake on and when the tide is right a nice sandy patch to paddle in. Its beautiful swimming in front of mountains and seeing how their reflection almost reaches to the shore. Some days it was so calm you could see the shells in the sea. The water was cold but it made laying on the warm rocks like a lizard so much more rewarding afterwards. After going for a swim we would sometimes head to the local pub , our favorite was the isles . every Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday there would be live music that always attracted a crowd (a crowd in Portree being about 20 people). Sometimes they would pander to the American tourists, sometimes they would play traditional Scottish music , almost every time there would be a song that we would get up and dance to. There is something very liberating about being able to dance in front of a group of strangers as if they do not exist. Kate is a great dancer so when the two of us got up the front people would always move out of our way and let us have the stage. We would feed off each other’s energy so felt like I could dance forever if she was up there with me.  

I wanted to write a paragraph about this women I worked with called Eden. She was only there for about a month but in that time she managed to have quite a big impact on me , in all the best ways. She reminded me a lot of Bianca actually just in the way she holds herself – with an air of calm and demeanor of consideration. She makes her own kumbutcha , does yoga in the mornings, reads books about spirituality and drinks turmeric tea. She reminds me of a woodland fairy who has just met humans for the first time and being unaware of their atrocities greats them with an air of curiosity and wonder. Eden is an excellent craft person and has inspired me to start making things again , in the first week of knowing her we made a journal together that I still have and i created a lino spinrt of the glasshouse in her backyard . Its great to have other creatives around you because it encourages you to work on your own projects and embrace your artistic nature. Eden is someone who is so unapologetically herself that it inspired me to be who I want to be and know I am deep down. She had an ability to see the beauty in everything and I would enjoy going on walks with her because she would spot out any mushroom or bird she would see with the wonder of a child finding it for the first time. We would talk a lot about love and relationships and I appreciated her wisdom on the matter , her brutal transparency encouraged me to speak my truths more and I felt like I could tell her anything. Eden feels the emotions of everyone around her in a very strong way which is lovely but also horrible when you are working in a highly stressful hospitality environment , she ended up leaving early because of this. I do not know if I will ever see her again but she must be one of my favorite people I have met so far and i still think about her when I go on walks.

It’s always a great feeling when you end up somewhere by chance but it turns out to be destiny. I think that is what Portree is for me. I needed somewhere to nest for a while before migrating to the European continent. I realized that while I had been in south Australia for the past 6months I had been back and forth from yorkes and the city quite a lot so struggled to feel grounded before I left. Edinburgh was good but it was very chaotic and I struggled to keep on top of the simplest things like doing my washing. In Skye I finally have time to exist as a human and reconnect with all the things I love doing as a human, one of these being hiking. I have always loved the idea of hiking and being a hiker but didn’t have the energy to undertake such a task while I was in Adelaide, now I have found myself in one of the most recommend hiking spots in the UK with the highest concentration of Munros (mountains over 3,000 feet in height) in Scotland. Destiny. I made it my mission to do what I have named ‘the four peaks of Portree’, essentially the four mountains you are able to see from the township, all walking distance from my front door.  I managed to complete all of them in about two weeks and rather then go through them all in painstaking detail I decided to compile a list of different reflections I had while on those hikes about life and also about hiking in general.

• When you have been walking uphill for three hours through boggy marshland, your feet are wet your calves are sore and you haven’t yet reached the summit you start questioning why ? why do people put themselves through this ?.  I think that part of it is very primal and comes from a desire to relinquish something that is now lost. In neolithic time we would walk so much , to find food, shelter, water , between camps , between seasons. Under modernity there is no such need , so we have become lazy and don’t walk as much as we really should. There is something that feels so inherently human about setting off on a hike , a journey into the unknown with just nature to keep you company. But something I’ve realized is that you never feel alone , I did most of the four hikes by myself without a phone yet never felt bored. Maybe this is a sign of my hyperactive mind or overactive imagination , I am able to keep myself entertained by my thoughts alone. My housemate couldn’t understand how I can walk without music playing , she refuses the leave the house if she cant find her headphones. I enjoy the lack of distraction because it makes me more aware of my surroundings.  There is so much to see while walking and the more hikes you do the more you know what to look out for. Something that has provided great entertainment for me while walking in Scotland is the sheep. The places you find them are just extraordinary, on cliff faces, in valleys, along the beach, there have been multiple times where I’ve reached a summit , thinking I was totally alone, let out a ‘whooop whooop’ only to startle a bunch of sheep that were also there. There was this steep section looming before me one time , I was looking up at it trying to asses the path of least resistance and decided to just think sheep. Got down on all fours and followed the paths they had created in the hillside. I’ve realized that I’m quite good at hiking from years of following kangaroo trails in the scrub. When you are walking off the beaten path you must find your own , this is where being perceptive and being able to see tracks becomes helpful.
• I came away from my time on Skye feeling very confident and I think that part of that has to do with the hikes I was doing. When you push your body to its limit to try and reach a peak, the feeling you get once you arrive is one of empowerment.  I did this , I pushed through the pain and heather and survived wet feet and labored breathing to reach the top. It doesn’t matter if you can’t see anything or you are so fatigued that all you can think about is going home, you get there with your own two feet , nothing else, and it feels amazing. You realize that you are capable of incredible things whether that’s climbing a mountain or climbing past the mental blockages occupying your mind, you can do it !!
• There is a song by Miley Cyrus that often plays in my mind when im hiking

There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

I’m realising that hiking is less about reaching the top and more about the journey along the way, the climb. The small pep talks you have to give yourself when you reach a hill only to see three more in the distance there’s always gonna be a another mountain. I’ve noticed that sometimes the best views aren’t even from the summit but the route there or back down , focusing too much on reaching the top can make you lose sight of the wonders along the way. Maybe there is a metaphor to be found here for life – focusing too much on big goals like having a career , finding your soul mate , can make you ignore all the little successes along the way.

• I was feeling quite upset one day, it was just after me and kate had gotten into quite heated discussion. I decided to channel my emotions into something productive so went to complete the final of my four peaks.  For most of the walk I was just replaying the conversation in my head over and over again thinking about what I should have said instead. Getting swamped by the tidal wave of unspoken words and unrequited feelings. Drowning in your emotions is not conducive to hiking up a hill where you need all the air you can get. I got to the top feeling accomplished but also incredibly drained, my moody disposition was reflected by the clouds which had gathered around the summit , shrouding the view in a white haze. There was still something beautiful about the scene , watching the clouds move around me, drifting with the currents of the wind. After only 5 minutes they had dispersed and the view revealed itself. Peter taught me this new word, ‘crepuscular rays’, it’s the name given to what mum always called gods fingers – rays of sunshine pocking through the canopy of clouds. It is hard to describe the view from that mountain , imagine a greyish landscape  but with tiny pockets of sunshine lighting random patches of the land. Like a black and white movie where only some of the scenes had been painted in colour. It was beautiful. I had this piecing thought while standing at the summit of that mountain, becoming more transfixed by the view, I realised that ‘its hard to stay mad when there is so much beauty in the world’. There is a lot to be upset at these days, its easy to be offended, but if you remind yourself of all the beauty and magic that still exists , it hard to stay upset for long. Your problems suddenly seem insignificant, almost laughable, and that how I felt standing on that Sumit. The conversation I had with Kate fell down the hill into irrelevancy because I was reminded that there are bigger things in life, there are mountains and oceans.
• The first peak of Portree I did was only an hour walk away from house, a spot called ‘hammer mountain’ , in my journal I wrote. ‘as I sat on the hill looking at where the skye meet sthe sea I had a feeling of limitlessness. The world is limitless, however we are also limitless , in the potential of what we can achieve but more importantly what we set out to achieve. Because to try is to succeed. The biggest mistake we can make is to limit ourselves. Through personality, place , people . The result is the same – we don’t get to explore our human potential. Its not about the realisation of it , but the quest for it that truly matters , because you discover just how limitless you are and are still to become . the world is vast but we are also vast. So test your limits and discover how limitless you can actually be’
• I think something I reflected on in that passage is how humbling the whole process was. I felt incredibly small which was at first quite confronting, but then you can see how it transitions to liberating very quickly. There is something beautiful about feeling small , I think counter intuitively it makes you a bigger person. Accepting your own impermanence is strangely empowering.  You feel humbled walking between mountains that go thousands of feet into the air, standing on the edge of an ocean that doesn’t end, stepping on rocks that were here before the dinosaurs , between trees that vanish into the canopy.

Part of what gave me the courage to go on all these hikes was meeting Peter. If Eden is a forest fairly peter is a mountain gnome.  He has nearly walked the entire length of the UK and will go on hikes that last weeks. I call him Mr Miyagi because he is like my hiking sensi , showing me the way of the mountains. He has taught me practical things like how to climb down steep patches, the way to navigate , what to pack. We also just have the most interesting conversations when we go on walks together, he is 38 so has a lot of wisdom to give about the world. We have different opinions on quite a lot of things but that just meant we had more complex chats. He felt like an older brother in a lot of ways and we would spend lots of quality time together gong hiking or cooking or bouldering. He was always down for an adventure and appreciated that I was as well.  I spent my last day in Portree mainly with him , we went on a big hike that started at 6 in the morning. It was one of my favorite hikes so far because there was snow on the summit so for part of it we were walking through a winter wonderland of snowy sparkles. The sunrise was also spectacular, it felt like Skye was saying goodbye to me.  

It was my birthday today. Birthdays often bring up strange emotions for people and I’m not exempt from that. I realized that the reason birthdays can be kind of triggering is because they are such a memorable event, you can’t help thinking about where you were for your birthday the year before. From this mental introspection comes the following reflection of ‘what have I done in the past year?’. Luckily for me, and my overall mood on my birthday, I feel like I’ve accomplished quite a lot in the past year – worked at a country pub and brewery in Victoria, survived fringe, got whooping cough (not as proud of that one), helped mum and dad on the property, planted thousands of trees , went camping , travelled to the other side of the world, survived fringe 2.0, worked on an island. I spent the morning by myself reflecting on the year that had been , I talked to mum , went for a walk , treated myself to a nice breaky. By coincidence there was an event on called ‘wild combination’ at the climbing gym. It was a sit down dinner followed by a night of music , essentially the best birthday present a girl could ask for.  I went with two friends from work – oli and Jacob , they took some convincing because we really didn’t know what to expect , but eventually the ‘buuut itsss my birthdaaaaayyy’ argument won. On our walk there we saw a firework display over the harbor, joked that it was for me, but later found out it was a premature Guy Fawkes Day celebration. Not sure if you have heard of Guy before but he basically (unsuccessfully) attempted to blow up parliament house in the 16th century and now every year they have fireworks and bonfires on that day. At first, I thought it was in support of his attempt to assassinate James I of England (because down with the king !!) but latter realised it was a snarky way for the English empire to remind its citizens of his foiled plans. Arriving at the event it was everything I could have wanted, candle lit dinner of curry and salad amongst my kind of people followed by my kind of djs. The guys had a great time and was all round just a fun night, they even played one of my favourite songs. The only downside to the night was that I lost my phone (again I know) we searched everywhere and oli even went back the day after to enquire about it but unfortunately no luck. I wasn’t too phased having been through this before , everyone else seemed more worried than me which I found quite entertaining.

It has been a couple of weeks without a phone now and I am feeling liberated. After loosing it for the second time I’ve realized that it is not only possible to not only survive but thrive without one. Ive written a few reflections on my time without a phone because it was an incredibly illuminating experience. Because my card is connected to my phone I was unable toa cess my bank for that month. My spending was limited to the cash tips I  got at work and the generosity of my friends. I was once again reminded of how lucky I was to be living in a place where I did not have many if really any expenses. It was a good lesson in frugality and realizing how little you can actually live on when your accommodation and food is covered. Not having a phone places you in the present. You realize how distracting this palm sized piece of technology can be when you are without it. I’m reminded of a philosopher called Eckhart toll who speaks a lot about what he describes as ‘the power of now’. Removing yourselves from the past and future places you in the present. In many ways phones function as time travelling devices allowing us to make plans for the future and reminisce on memories from the past , while this initially sounds like a powerful ability what it does is distract us from what is happening in our lives currently. We become dissociated from the present and stop living our lives in the moment. I took great joy in the spontaneity that came from not being able to make plans far into the future. It was a return to the old school way of socializing – meet me here at this time. There was one night I was on shift and just happened to see my friend Jacob who was off that night , our chance encounter resulted in a plan to go for a late night walk on the scorryvoe track to see the full moon rise. It was one of my favorite nights, partly because it was so in the moment, there was no time for me to build an expectation of what we would come across.

I discovered an interesting irony not having a phone and therefore a time keeping device – everything by consequence felt perfectly timed. I would wake up for my shift without an alarm, find myself stumbling across events that had just started , seeing people I knew in cafes. When you do not have a schedule to maintain you are always on time. I wanted to share a journal entry I made one morning when I was at Finns house. He had gone to work so I had a few hours by myself. This is what I wrote. ‘I had never seen snow on seaweed before. It snowed this morning on skye, not just on the mountains but down to the sea. Its strange how not having a phone has made everything perfectly timed. I woke up this morning without an alarm, with enough time to make myself a coffee and head down to the shore to watch one of the best sunrises I have ever seen. It was a collage of purple, mountains Skye and sea        . The sunrise was a scene in itself and I was once again reminded how much more present I am without a phone. I cou;d hear the birds chirping and the waves lapping against the shore. I saw the rays of the sun poke ove the mountain and witnessed the moment the sky turned from pink to blue. I had a though to run up to the bothy and get my camera , but then decided no. I wanted to be fully present in the moment, sometimes when you are in a moment , like fully captured by it you don’t want the distraction of the camera. So many of the things ive experienced in the past month without a phone are so clear in my mind because I was fully absorbed by that person or view and didn’t have a photo to remember it by so relied on my own memory.  Watching the sunrise, I felt like Skye was putting on a show just for me. Who needs TV when you have nature’.

I’ve decided that I am ready to go on my first overnight hike. Maybe ready isn’t the best word – when are you ever fully prepared to set off into the mountains alone with your perceived means of survival strapped to your back. I’ve decided that I am going on my first overnight hike, hopefully I’m ready. The fear of not being able to complete it has become secondary to the the fear of not even trying and so on Saturday I will set out, after work, bag packed ready, 1pm sharp and start walking towards the mountains. Peter came over and helped me pack my bag. I didn’t realize how many things there were to consider – make sure the weight is in the middle of your pack, wrap warm clothes in garbage bags so they don’t get wet, pack three pairs of socks , if your shoulders get sore tighten your waist  strap, bring spare batteries. Together we sat down and drew out a map of my intended route complete with compass coordinates and landmarks. It reminded me of the stories grandpa would tell about surveying in outback Australia. While my housemates were worried about my lack of phone I thought of you spending weeks in the middle of nowhere before watches were even digital. I hope that some of your surveyor expertise had passed onto me and that I will find the way.

Today I set off on my adventure. The breakfast shift dragged on and found myself constantly checking the clock waiting for it to finish, I had about 8 miles to walk in four or so hours, allowing an hour before sunset to set up my tent. Once I got home I quickly grabbed my bag and a slice of my housemates banana bread for afternoon tea and was ready to go. There is something inherently fulfilling about starting a hike from home , that first step out the door is the first step of your journey , just you and your own two feet unassisted by any transportation. I started on the Skye trail , an unmarked track that goes the entire length of the island. While its not clearly defined you are able to follow along in the footsteps of past hikers relatively easily.  I think I experienced all four seasons in those first two hours, a subtle sign of things yet to come. As I saw the sun start to go behind the cullins I begun the hunt for a suitable camp spot , somewhere out of the wind , preferably under trees, not too close to water or long grass. I looked over my shoulder to try and gage how much sunlight I had only to see the sky swallowed by dark clouds, the search for a camp spot became more determined. Following a rock fence into a glade of trees I found my home for the night , I could set up comfortably and also have views of the mountains in the distance, tomorrows destination. I spent the first hour watching the world outside slowly turn grey and the mountains gradually disappear into the rain. Its amazing how the sense become heightened when you are without distraction. I am learning how to be alone with my thoughts again. After a chaotic six months it was a skill that I had to regain, this hike being a test of how far I had come. In my journal I wrote “its easy to be alone during the day the sun keeps you company. You know that you will eventually return to a home of people and noise so the temporary silence loses its severity.  I haven’t spent a night by myself in a long time, either there is someone in the house or someone to message on my phone. But sitting in this tent right now I am truly alone. It’s a comfortable aloneness, one that i have chosen for myself. I wanted to do this , felt like I needed to do this, not for anyone else but for me. To prove that I was comfortable enough with my thoughts to be alone with them, not only for a full day but a full night”

The night was difficult. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t cold. The tent and sleeping bag my housemate had given me were for summer hiking and this was very much winter time. Its scary where your mind can go once you start to feel a bit of the cold, it overrides our most primal priority of warmth. But it is also incredible what your body is capable of. It was a restless night but I woke up in the morning feeling refreshed. My clock had stopped working overnight so I opened the tent to try and gage the time only to find that the mountains once covered in cloud that were now topped with snow. The sun had just risen so it was time for me to go. The next four miles were a precarious dance along the sea edge that would take me to sligachan – gateway to the Cullins. I had a seal friend swim along for part of the journey and felt less alone. The sun followed me all day as if to apologize for the chill of the night and the mountains acted as my personal guards preventing the cloud from coming into the valley. I was able to look up from my patch of sunlight and see the snow falling on the summits above. The next stretch was relatively easy a walk along the river that would lead me to the most challenging section of the hike, the ascent between two mountains tall enough to disappear among the gathering clouds. It wasn’t an official path and so I climbed it aspirationally, hoping that there was a way down on the other side. I say climb because at points my hands and feet were both touching the ground. What I didn’t account for is how the added weight would make me sink further into the heather, giving me the appearance of an astronaut without the grace of one. But its an incredible thing to be hiking among mountains, so even though I was tired, my feet were wet, my shoulders were sore and I still wasn’t sure if I was on the right route all I could think about was how beautiful it all was. I stopped for a bit by a stream that was fed from a waterfall coming of the snow topped marsco and got to drink some of the freshest water I had ever tasted. I continued my climb to the peak of my path and reflected on how incredible it was that I got to call these movements mine. I chose this path , this hike, this day , this direction, I was the only one seeing this view in this time.  The feeling when I got to the top of that hill and saw the road on the other side and I saw the mountains above me with their snow caps and the river gushing bellow and the sea stretching before me, that feeling that I got was like pure euphoria, I think I even cried a little bit. When you feel an emotion that is difficult to define it leaks out of you in tears and you realize that you don’t need to define it rather just sit there and feel it, and so that’s what I did. Then I walked down and I kept walking until I reached Finns house. I’ve only just done the calculations now writing this email to you but I walked around 25 kilometers in that day , the funny thing is I could have only walked 5 but still would have felt accomplished.

Unfortunately, that day was also the day things started to fall apart with Finn. After that overnight hike I felt on top of the world , a kind of high you could never get from drugs because it came from within. When I stumbled into the boothie I was smittin, he was hungover and grumpy. I had just experienced this transformative pilgrimage , he had just gotten drunk for two days in Edinburgh. I wanted to quickly note that these emails are both informative and self-reflective, I want to give you guys a glimpse into my life abroad, good bad and ugly,  while also reflecting on what I’ve learnt from it so far. It’s an interesting irony that we often gain the most from situations where we loose, maybe that’s why some of the most enlightened individuals are those who have gone through the most trauma.  Things started to fall apart on that day because I realized two things, one – I am totally comfortable being with myself, in fact I almost enjoy it more then being with other people (sometimes), two – finn has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol (alcoholism). I started to realize the latter somewhat early on just through little things , I would have one glass of wine , he would have three , I would stop drinking at 9 , he wouldn’t. I think I tried to overlook it at first because I didn’t want to accept that someone my age could suffer from such a terrible affliction. I think a lot more young people are affected by it then we would choose to believe , we assume that binge drinking is a symptom of youth not a sign of addiction. I didn’t like how much Finn would drink and I didn’t like how vacant he would become. He wasn’t a loud drunk but a scarily quiet one. I spent the next couple of days at his house keeping myself entertained when he was at work, making food, going on walks , drawing by the beach. I found myself enjoying the time to myself more then the time I was spending with him. He would just complain about work or sit on the couch watching tv. Something else I have been reflecting on is how insecure men are threatened by independent women. They realize that we are perfectly content by ourselves and I think that scares them. A lot of relationships these days are obsessive, peoples partners become their worlds but with this comes a form of possessiveness that I hate. I’m very free spirited and can function perfectly fine alone, having a relationship with someone contributes to my world but I don’t let it become my world. I felt like things were uneven between be and finn in that regard , and one of the most important things in any relationship is equality. So after all these things I decide to end things with Finn, feeling relieved when I did.  

Today was my last day at work . I feel like im ready to leave, take the next leap forward. I’ve been overcome by this feeling of ‘ants in my pants’ a restlessness that requires movement. But the overall taste in my mouth is bittersweet, it always is when I leave a place and that’s why I know im ready to go. Its strange feeling working somewhere for long enough to know that the scallops are the same ones Gordan Ramsey uses in his London restaurant and that you need to put a steak knife down for the venison. Working with people who you are seeing more then your family , whose lives you know more about then some of your friends back home. When I start a job I become almost greedy, wanting to consume as much new information as possible until my brain becomes gorged with knowledge. But often when I go to leave this pensive feeling takes over and I start contemplating when I will ever use this information again.  Something that im realizing now though is that it isn’t always about the knowledge you receive but the way you find it and what else you find out along the way  . Sure , I might forget that you need a steak knife to eat venison but I will always remember the deer I saw outside of town and how they have become overpopulated because there are no longer any natural predators left. Sure, i might never see Oli again but I will remember how I asked him about what he buys his dad for Christmas and how he told me that he feels abandoned by his own father. I think that after being in formal education for so long I’ve had to really rebuild my relationship with learning. At university all the focus is put on the result, the essay you write or the exam you sit , the degree you get at the end. Unfortunately i think this often detracts from the journey itself . While travelling I am trying to enjoy the pursuit of new knowledge rather than focusing on what I ‘gain’ from it.

Today it snowed in Portree. Properly snowed. I now understand the phrase ‘blanketed in snow’ now because it really covers the world in what looks like a soft rug, the ruggedness of the landscape becomes diluted under this white concealer. I found it very entertaining to see how much of the world comes to a stand still once this fine white powder starts falling, the town literally froze, people couldn’t make it to work, schools closed , cars wouldn’t work, roads were deemed impassible. Despite all the perceived grandeur of human kind we can still be defeated by tiny droplets of icy water falling from the sky.  While people were complaining about its many inconveniences, I couldn’t help but be enchanted. Even though I have seen it on the ground in Hotham it didn’t actually snow while we were there so the novelty of it was still strong. I felt like a child who had just woken up in a magical winter wonderland and was overcome by a strong desire to build a snowman. The next day I rallied the troops. At first they were apprehensive ‘im tired’  ‘ooh its so cold’ ‘im not 10 years old anymore jess’. But the great thing about working mornings with your mates is that they can get caught in the spontaneity of an idea and the desire to do something with their splits rather then just sit inside. You also have the entire morning to convince them of a plan and I can be a very persuasive person , so naturally they conceded. We layered up, beanies, scarves , jackets , two pairs of gloves (if you put plastic gloves under your regular gloves it keeps your hands extra toasty). I bought carrots and some spare accessories from home. Earlier that morning I had gotten the OK from one of the groundskeepers to make them out the front of the hotel so that people having their evening meal could see our snowy friends. I was gald that I recruited the hlpe of my two yorkeshire mates who had snow experiences because they showed me the technique of rolling a small snowball around to make it into a big ball and then an even bigger ball and then, because we all got a bit carried away in the competition of it, the BIGGEST ball. What we forgot/ I was never told was how heavy snow gets once it is compacted so we had to do a bit of deconstruction in order to lift the towering snowballs on top of one another, but the end result was well worth it. Our snowpeople actually became famous !! there was this historical influencer staying at the hotel called ‘andy the highlander’ , he had written a few books , appeared on a few episodes of outlander and had quite a few followers. He ended up doing a live video with our snowfolks that went global , with people from American and even japan viewing it.

Those are my skye updates !! hopefully I will keep onto of the next email a bit better so you can look forward to some Albanian reflections soon. So far I am really enjoying my time here, feel like I have found my people and place once again. I will make sure to be more careful in Albania, so far everyone has been very lovely with the city feeling quite safe.

Lots of love !!!!!!

Jess xox